Leadership is not about getting the best corner in the office nor the titles we carry, leadership is about embracing the suck by putting yourself out there and leaning into courage.
When googling "what makes a great leader", the search engine is giving us diverse results: excellent communication skills, ability to delegate, vision, integrity, capacity to influence, diplomacy, you name it. I find the list always missing one key element which is vulnerability.
I would like to open this new blog article with some words particularly dear to me:
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.
These words are from Theodore Roosevelt and perfectly express how I feel about vulnerability and leadership. We crave brave leaders, who have the courage to step up and dare greatly. The biggest obstacle to courageous leadership is not fear but how we deal with it, how we accept and talk about failure for example. We are afraid to go to the places that scare us the most, we fear that tough conversation we should initiate, that feedback we should give to our colleagues, that crazy and innovative idea we want to bring on the table. Often we are afraid of being vulnerable. Vulnerability plays a big role not only in our friendship and romantic relationships but also in the working environment.
Often leaders are put in a pedestal, obliged to hide that vulnerable side we all have as human beings. The vulnerability I am talking about has nothing to do with being submissive, always saying yes or being weak, vulnerability stands for the courage of showing your authentic self. It replaces the paradigm we are so used to deal with: "be professional and keep the distance". I believe that strong leaders are the ones who have the courage to be vulnerable, to embrace risk and hold that space within organization. Sometimes we take risks and it works out, sometimes it doesn't work. Brave leaders can handle both outcomes with confidence and strength.
Vulnerability doesn't imply that we share at work every thought we have regarding how we feel about everybody, that's not vulnerability. If you are in that situation you probably need to call your bestie to talk about what is happening in our mind. We must have and set boundaries as leaders.
When we show to others our real side and accept vulnerability, we are more likely to gain trust of the team and become more effective leaders. Admitting mistakes, seeking for help, understanding that we don't always have the answers are all expressions of our vulnerability / strength.
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